Michael Jackson tells Bubbles the chimp in sign language to sit the fuck down and stop stealing sips of his tea.
That’s the most gangsta thing I’ve ever seen.
my chemistry teacher calls babies “fresh humans”
It cracks me up when the actors on a show are also the producers because I always picture them casting themselves like
"Who’ll play the main character? Ah yes. Me."
u can’t beat the monuments men
umm excuse u
don’t mess with the Polar Express
if you’re ever proud of me and say ‘that’s my girl’ I can guarantee my heart will melt into a little puddle of happiness
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
Okay you know what I was just gonna reblog this and say nothing but you know what, I’m pissed off and you wanna know why?
Ted is a Nice Guy. I don’t mean a nice man, no. I mean the motherfucking “Nice Guy” who moans and complains about how women just won’t flock to him and be exactly who he expects of them. He knew from the beginning Robin wanted to focus on her career before marriage. He knew from the beginning she didn’t want kids. She rejected him time after time before they dated the first time. She rejected him time after time after that, for nine goddamn fucking years. His refusal to stop pursuing her, and accept she did not fucking love him, destroyed his relationship with Victoria TWICE. He is the whiny high school teenager bitching because the popular girl he obsesses over just isn’t into him. He is the goddamn Nice Guy, the kind whose every action, every so-called kind deed is done purely out of trying to get Robin to date him.
Robin motherfucking Scherbatsky was an independent woman who not only relied on herself, but expected the men she wanted to be with to be independent and rely on himself, as well. She was career-minded and strong and independent and self-reliant. Those were the traits that doomed her and Ted.
In this gifset we see that Ted did not respect Robin for who she was. He didn’t want her to be self-reliant—he wanted her to rely on him. He’s like so many men out there, so many Nice Guys. Baby, let me take care of you while you put me before everything else, You’re too independent, Robin. I need you to need me, I need you to rely on me. The reason they didn’t work out was because they both wanted and needed different things in relationships, and that’s okay—what isn’t okay is that instead of accepting that, Ted blames her. Tells her that SHE is the reason why they broke up, and something about her is WRONG. He insults her, tells her that her fundamental personality is wrong, and that she is why their relationship failed; that they they just aren’t compatible, no; because she is broken.
She is so upset at this she goes to another ex. He’s the Jerk, you know; the guy who all the Nice Guys in the world call The Asshole. And you know what? You know what this Asshole does? He comforts her, he compliments her. He tells her that those traits, teh traits she’s been belittled and taunted over, the traits that make her broken, the reason why She Can’t Find A Man, are what make her wonderful. Barney loved her for her insecurities, and he supported her independence. He supported her self-reliance. In one scene, this Asshole prove to be far more accepting and mature than the so-called Nice Guy.
So who do she end up with?
how i met your mother ending is bullshit
At twilight on August the 25th 1999, one week before classes were to begin, Hermione Granger Apparated into Hogsmeade, a wand box clutched under her arm.
Headmistress McGonagall was waiting for her outside the Three Broomsticks. The two women greeted each other warmly, and then set off towards the castle. Or rather, towards the grounds outside the castle.
They chatted amiably as they strolled towards the groundskeeper’s hut. Hagrid, sitting outside and darning a pair of enormous socks, looked up as they approached.
“Good evenin’ Headmistress, Hermione,” he said with some gruff surprise.
“Good evening, Hagrid,” replied McGonagall. “May we go inside? I believe Hermione has a proposition to discuss with you.”
If you had stood outside the hut as the evening darkened and the stars rose into the sky, you’d have heard the rumblings of an argument coming from inside the hut. You’d have heard Hagrid’s gruff refusals, Hermione’s calm (and then not so calm) rebuttals, and the very occasional interjection of the Headmistress.
Hermione did not emerge until the moon had fully risen and darkness enveloped the grounds. But in the light of the nearly full moon, you could see a smile on her face.
The Shrieking Shack was no longer widely believed to be haunted, now that the story of Remus Lupin was fully known. Still, the residents of Hogsmeade and Hogwarts avoided it out of a mixture of respect and residual fear.
This suited Hermione perfectly. The interior of the Shack was now stacked with books and bottles of potion ingredients. A cauldron sat in the corner, a telescope pointed out a cracked window, and cushions lined one wall. A table was covered in parchment, broken quills, ink pots and stains. Once a week, Hermione would apparate into the Shack and go over her notes from the previous session while she awaited her student’s arrival.
Sometimes he was late without explanation. Sometimes he would bring a wounded bowtruckle he wasn’t comfortable leaving on its own. Sometimes Fang would follow him and sit in the corner whining while his master sweated and cursed over a cauldron. Hermione was calm but firm, making adjustments as needed and letting Hagrid’s frustrated words roll off her back like water droplets.
The Hogsmeade residents may have turned a blind eye to the goings-on in the Shrieking Shack, but that didn’t mean they weren’t relieved as time went on and there were fewer and fewer roars of anger echoing through the village.
The OWL testers had been warned in advance that they would have an unusual student that year. That didn’t mean they weren’t taken aback when Rubeus Hagrid appeared on their testing scrolls. They all knew of him of course, knew the role he played in the Second War and of the false accusations leveled against him.
They were worried they would have to be kind.
They needn’t have. No one could have Hermione Granger teach them personally for a year and not improve in all aspects. His potions may not have been textbook perfection, he may not have fully transfigured his toad, but Hagrid had clearly worked hard to master his long dormant abilities.
Rubeus Hagrid may not have followed the traditional path to wisdom. But he had a new wand, the (sometimes grudging) respect of his peers, classes to teach and 6 OWLs.
Including the highest score ever recorded on Care of Magical Creatures.
(written and submitted by ppyajunebug; please excuse me, because I have something in my eye. Oh yes, it is my joyful tears. ppyajunebug has a way of bringing those out of me, you see. Their submissions tackle some of the saddest moments in canon, turning them around and making something beautiful out of them.)
THIS WAS SO STINKIN CUTE EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ THIS
Don’t mind me. I’ve got billowing smoke in my eyes.
YES YES OMG YES
Tom + Loki:
Chris + Steve
Clint + Jeremy:
Natasha + Scarlett:
Chris + Thor:
Mark + Bruce
Tony + RDJ
Fury + Samuel:
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE POST EVER,
MOST ACCURATE POST